And then I felt like a jerk

I can’t get my eyebrows waxed without thinking about my Grandma’s toes. You may be thinking what on earth do eyebrows have to do with toes? My answer to that would be well nothing to normal people; but I don’t really know any of those so I can’t go ask one. Here hold my hand; I’ll walk you into the depths of my crazy brain.

So if you don’t already know me I guess I should tell you that I am Portuguese. Although for being Portuguese I guess I am really not all that hairy of a person but hairy enough that I’ve got to get my eyebrows waxed at least once a month. I believe I wrote a previous post on this. Anywho, so one Sunday I went to get a pedicure from the small place around the corner from my house. Getting pedicures once on a month on lazy Sundays afternoons used to be consistent ritual of mine; you know before I had kids. So as I am getting my pedicure the young woman whose Husband ran the shop told me that I should let her wax my eyebrows because mine needed it. It was true but damn if that doesn’t sting a little.

So after my toenails dried I went to get the wax done. She brushed up the brow hairs and cut them down, which seriously always makes me really nervous, and then she applied the wax and did her thing. I didn’t really think much about it because she didn’t leave the wax on for an abnormal amount of time or anything like that. Small side note: that happened to me once and she pulled off like 3 layers of my skin and I had burn marks on my face for several days. I still won’t go back to that place. I have no idea why I didn’t just get out of the chair when I knew she was doing it wrong; but I really hate to be rude!

So I pay them for my services and I leave. I jump in the car and take a quick look at my eyebrows in the rearview mirror before driving away. What was staring back at me was scary. That woman had like completely waxed off almost my entire eyebrow on both sides. You could see bald spots in them and they were like gone; and I mean gone. I am sure that some people look good with minimal eyebrows but I am not one of them. I am meant to have some regular looking eyebrows here. So I quickly drive home to get a better look. Unfortunately, the view from my huge bathroom mirror didn’t make them look any better. I bet you are wondering what the hell does this have to do with her Grandma or her toes.

Well here you go I will tell you. Just as I start to tear up a little bit my Mom calls. I may have been 24 or 25 but you bet as soon as I heard my Mom’s voice I was actually crying.

“Moooom that stupid woman waxed off all of my eyebrows. I look ridiculous and now I have to go to Walmart looking like a chola to buy an eyebrow pencil.”

She pauses and responds with, “Umm I was just calling to tell you that one of Grandma’s toes is infected and well they are going to do surgery and cut it off this week.”

Aaannnd she is met with total silence. I believe my response was something like, “hold up what?”

Then my Mom starts laughing and says, “Bet that gave you a little perspective now didn’t it.”

So now here 4 or 5 years later I can’t help but think of my Grandma’s toes when I get a wax. My poor Grandma...at least my eyebrows grew back. She hides it well though I’ve never actually seen the space where the toe was.

It's a good thing my Mom love me

This is an actual copy of an email I sent my Mom this morning. I didn't realize until she sent it back with a reply that I totally sounded like I have ADD; but I promist I don't!

You need an IM account. Here are a small example of the little things I have wanted to tell you this morning that don't separately really call for an email but I'll forget if I have to wait...

- I had a pesto bagel this morning and it was really awesome. I am sure you would like it.
- I tentatively added Chicken Pot Pies to the book list
- It looks like Edwards might be sold out for Break Dawn midnight showing tickets and they have not yet been released yet to buy at Sierra Vista. If you have an "in" you may want to cash that chip.
- Are you guys coming for Survivor tonight?
- What happen' with tomorrow?
- I am full because our breakfast pot luck today was awesome.
- All of a sudden this week I am not pumping much milk and I find that annoying.
- Did you still want to take family pictures?
- Did you hear it is supposed to rain this weekend?
- Linky was super smiley this morning but C has a runny nose.
- My daughter was gruuuum-py last night.

Yep I am that cool.

Space (and shit)

Actual conversation between me and the Husband today:

Cj: Did you know Stairway to Heaven came out 40 years ago today?
Me: I saw that article.
Cj: Heard about the asteroid that will pass by the earth tonight closer than the moon?
Me: No. Do you want me to sleep tonight?
Cj: Oh I figured you had heard and just not said anything.
Me: No.
Cj: Uhh ok I am assuming you don’t want me to tell you about it.
Me: Nope.

This may seem like a totally innocent conversation people but it so totally isn’t!! I hate space (and shit) and I always have. My brain with its limited spatial skills can’t really grasp the concept of outer space. In fact, the thought of it scares the holy crapola out of me. He knows this so what does he do? He brings up asteroids coming close to the earth; and you know what? I don’t have the time to freak out about that tonight. Plus, I am pretty sure Ben Affleck is busywith his two daughters and pregnant wife and everything he can’t go take care of that crap. They might be able to get Bruce Willis, I mean I haven’t seen that guy do anything in a while, but he might be busy stalking Ashton Kutcher so he can pummel him for cheating on his ex-wife.

So thanks Husband for screwing with my head. You are forcing my hand to talk about periods or something just to screw with you. Hmm that doesn’t really freak him out though. Maybe I’ll start crying about wanting a new baby; that ought to scare the crap out of him.

I might need a jump

I was leaving work the other day and I saw some kids in the parking lot jumping a car. Presumably it was one of theirs or they are really crappy thieves. Anyway, the thought popped in my head that I should really learn how to use jumper cables just in case I ever need a jump (of the car variety). Then my mind went all 2011 and I was like well nah I have an app for that. I could always just use my “How to” app. Then I was like oh wait what if my phone isn’t charged then I’d be screwed and I just turned off my *Onstar. Then I saw the on campus farm market and started thinking about ice cream.

I really should learn how to use jumper cables. I will add that to the “Things I Should Probably Learn” list like: how to pick a lock, find out when the sun might burn out, and why did Steve Perry leave Journey.

Man it has been long time...

Isn’t it funny how insanely fast life can pass you by? The last time I blogged my daughter C was a mere 9 months old. Today….she’s 2 AND 2 ½ months old. She is always running and screaming since apparently little girls can’t seem to do one without the other simultaneously. She can also identify all of her ABC’s, count to 14, and sing Twinkle Twinkle in an understandable though not exactly correct rendition. She is the moon and the stars and keeps my heart a beatin’. She is also defiant, loud, and frequently causes me to take up residence at the end of my rope.

Then when C was a mere 12 months old Mommy got all confused and got pregnant with L. He was born on a cool Saturday in May and started shaking everything up. No one ever told me that going from 1 baby to 2 more than doubles the work. In many ways he is the exact opposite of C. He doesn’t sleep all that well whereas C slept like an angel from 8 weeks. He is a big time snuggler though and she never was. He adores watching C sing and play and I can’t wait to see them running around together.

Other than that life is good. We moved almost an hour closer to work early in 2011 and that has really given us our life back. We get to spend more time with the kids and less time sitting in the car. I spend most of time chasing kids, nursing, and being hooked up to a breast pump; I know super exciting right. I know that I am super blessed to be able to nurse for so long but Momma is ready for a break. I have been pregnant or nursing for 37 straight months….yep 37. I am so ready to have a cocktail without having to plan the crap out of it and go out of town with my Husband. All in good time I suppose. Maybe I will actually update something on here sometime soon. We’ll see!

You should feel better about yourself in 1...2...

I. Am. A. Dork.

It’s true. As a kid I preferred to read than play with kids my age. My poor baby Sister was always trying to get me to go outside and play with her; but alas, I preferred to prop my feet up and read the latest Baby Sitter’s Club book. The day I had to give all of those up a yard sale was oh so sad; anyhow, I digress. So I thought I would let you in on a new secret shame that outlines just how much of a dork I really am.

My job involves a yearly edit of the major requirements in our course catalog. If you have ever attended college of any sort you should know what a catalog is. Anyhow as I peruse through the majors I have to highlight all of the requirements for each and then I go back through and compare that to last year’s requirements. I identify the changes and eventually I change all sort s of public documents with the changes. Seems all innocent and simple right?

Well the thing is that I am very selective with my highlighter colors. Many majors have options and those options have emphases and so the easiest thing to do is use several different colors to make the information pop out. Some years ago I decided that the color should fit the major. For example: I use a yellow highlighter for the construction major because it is the closest color to wood. Here is a small list of the others that seem to go for me and the corresponding reasons why.

- Blue for Geography because most of our planet is water.
- Green for plant science because duh most plants are green.
- Yellow for Chicano studies because it made me think of awesome tortillas and those are made with corn and corn is yellow.
- Green for economics because money is green.
- Yellow for Electrical Eng because for some reason it made me think of electricity which seemed sunny to me- you know they are both sources of power.
- Blue for computer science because in the matrix there was a blue pill and although I don’t know if that is the one Neal chose or even if the matrix has anything in the world to do with computers that is what I think of when I see computer science.
- Orange for Geology because it is the closest thing I have to a rock color.

I could go on and on. I only wish I was kidding.

Another Go

So ok internet I am going to give this another go. It does feel good to just write even though I know about one person who is reading it. I guess the point is just to write.

Lately life seems so ridiculously blissful one moment and what the crap is going on the next. The constant zig zag between the two is exhausting. So I will just list a few sentences about our life right now in crazy town.

1.) Bubbles is now almost 8 months and she is amazing.
2.) Being a Mom has has far exceeded my expectations in every awesome meter there is.
3.) Being Mom that works outside of the home is the hardest thing I have ever done in so many ways.
4.) I have an awesome Husband, great family, and great friends.
5.) As an adult being friends with my Mom who is also still like a Mom is a pretty cool thing.
6.) My Mom likes to feed us in crazy town and lucky for her she likes to eat. This means Husband and I both need to work out. So I am taking a swimming class with Mom and Sister and it is really fun.
7.) I still think it is funny when Bubbles throws her toys on the floor and laughs.
8.) I am still worried about this great State of CA and what this will all mean for us and for Bubbles and any future crazy town kids.
9.) I want my Google Fiber.
10.) This is the year of the iphone for me and I can't wait.
11.) Losing weight feels as good as it sounds.

and 12 because I am even braver than Sam

12.) I still love Jeopardy. We DVR it everyday and now Bubbles is addicted. She sends out some mad loving feelings for Trebek.

Woosh Woosh Woosh

Someday the woosh woosh woosh sound of my breast pump will be something I don’t hear every day. I am thrilled and melancholy all at the same time. Now that Bubbles is almost 8 months old I can really start thinking about when to wean. My goal all along was to make it through cold and flu season and what do you know that is right around the corner. I can’t wait to have my body back. I can’t wait to no longer have to get my makeshift curtain up and pump at work three times a day. I can’t wait to go somewhere with the Husband overnight.

On the other hand I will miss her first happy smile in the morning after LB is empty. I’ll miss her little hands that run through my hair in contentment. The way she looks at me like I can give her the whole world. The feeling that maybe I just can give her the whole world. Our quite moments, hushed conversation, our cuddles. I feel so blessed that I was able to give her this gift and I am so thankful that she stuck with me through the rougher parts.

Of course burning an extra 1000 calories or so a day ain’t half bad either… :)

The Future

Our fabulous daughter was eventually born around two weeks after my last post. And yes I have been too busy/tired to write since then. I was very lucky and her birth went down pretty much exactly how I was hoping. I managed to birth her without any pain medication and honestly I couldn't have been more proud of myself. It felt (still feels) like this huge accomplishment. I couldn't have done it without the Husband and My Mom and Sister. I had great coaches.

I had decided early on in my pregnancy that I did not want any pain medication but I had no idea how to achieve that goal. So I did what I always do in that situation- I read. I also took a great birth education class. In the process of all of this preparation I stumbled upon what I think may be "a calling." I wanted to wait until Little Miss was born so I knew more about my brain dealing with labor to see if I thought I could hack it- and now I think I can. So I am officially going to start my Doula training certification process. I-am-so-excited. I have always been fascinated by the human body and the reproductive system in particular. For some reason I became the de facto all female problems and sex related questions for many of my friends. I always felt that was because my lack of shame, judgment, or embarrassment discussing things that can make other women feel ashamed, judged, and embarrassed. I am a straight talker pretty much and I think sometimes that is what people need and that is when they probably most appreciate me. Anyway I have started my process- the first being the choice in my mind and I am stoked. I know that it will take a while to get certified and established but I hope that I become very good at this and it becomes my lifelong career. I want to be 60 years old and a funny Grandma that still drinks Cosmos and says crap a lot; and who also still hunkers down and talk and walks women through the most beautiful experience they will ever have in their life. I have witnessed a birth and it is the single most magical thing I think I will ever see- I witnessed a miracle.

I will write more about my labor and my Darling Muffin another night. For now my comfy bed is calling my name. It has been a very busy day.

Long Time

Ok so it's been a long time; like a very long time. The only excuse I have is that I was really tired in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy. So now I am home and just waiting for the baby to be born; well that and currently trying to get an answer out of Husband as to whether or not he wants to have the family over for dinner this week. That may seem like an easy task but well yeah it's not.

We are all good here. Doc says she thinks baby will be here in the next week or so which is very, very exciting. I am sure once she comes I will have tons to talk about. We will see if I am too tired to lift my fingers long enough to type.

Today I slept in again after scrapbooking with my Sister last night. Then I took a shower and bathed the dogs. Penny was thrilled and really seemed to enjoy the full body scratch that comes with a bath. Lola enjoyed the bath but has been all pouty ever since. She stalked away from us and collapsed in a huff where she slept for an hour only to come around again once people food was offered. She even responded to be called Miss Pouty- yes this is a scary thing. We are hoping the baby doesn't also repond to Miss Pouty someday.

Anyhow so not much exciting going on today with us. We are now going to re-arrange the front bedroom AGAIN because we keep dumping crap in there and now there is no where for my Mom to sleep again after she comes when the baby is born. We are also going to finish straightening the baby's room. So now that I am off work for 4 MONTHS!!!! I will probably attempt to write more. See you soon...