New Pregnant Dreams

So the freaky pregnant dreams are here…and with a vengeance. I almost thought that I was going to be immune and they would never appear. The strangest thing about that is that I have extremely vivid and often completely ridiculous dreams on a normal basis. And that is even without Nyquil; you throw Nyquil into the mix and I never know what my subconscious will do.

I once had a dream about this really scary old man. I was with Husband and his best friend in this large like warehouse thing that had all sorts of trinkets and inventions that were haphazardly strewn about; a lot like Doc’s house in Back to the Future. There was this old elevator looking thing that was suspending from the ceiling that looked like a metal container and had a wheel with spokes that turned on the outside to lock a person, or something else, in. It looked like the container that they lock the glowing girl in to transport her to the U.S. in the animated movie Atlantis. So anyway this crazy old man with nutso hair like Einstein shows up at some point and we lock him in there. And no I don’t know why. So we (Husband and I) go into this little room to sleep and the room has two doors on the wall that faces the bed. I wake up in the middle of the night (in the dream) and realize that I have heard a noise. So I get up and go lock the farthest (I know stupid) of the two doors as it was ajar. I run and leap back into bed and put my head under the covers. About the time I realize I didn’t lock the other door. I lift my head out to get up again and there is the OLD MAN leaning over me and reaching out; and he looked pissed. It is at this point that I wake up screaming and scare the living crap out of Husband. Our closet door is on my side of the bed and I swear to this day I cannot sleep with that door ajar. Every once in a while if Husband is being a pain he will tell go close the closet door you don’t want the old man coming out tonight which scares the crap out of me right before I go to bed. I know, isn’t he so sweet?

So yes that is an old dream; but this week a very unusual thing happened to me. I started a dream on Sunday night and Monday night when I went back to sleep it picked back up where I left off. Now that is a subconscious that likes to have the last word. Apparently it hates my incessant nighttime peeing and my morning alarm as much as I do. So starting Sunday night, in the dream, apparently my Mother and Step-Dad did something illegal and flee the country. CJ and I were able to arrange some sort of secret meeting with someone who was able to give us a clue to there whereabouts. I know there was a lighthouse involved (I recently read a book that centered on one) and I know that we found out they were on an island. We were not sure how we were going to get there. So then Monday night Sister and BIL (bro-in-law) join our cause and we are all trying to figure out how we are going to get there together. I know lawn chairs were involved in that discussion but I cannot remember in which way. For all I know I may have just been sitting on one; it was bamboo. So I tell my Mom about this yesterday and caution her from doing anything illegal (which is hilarious if you knew how straight laced my Moms is) and her response is well crap what else am I supposed to do this weekend? So yes folks that is apparently where I get it from.

So in the wee hours of this morning I wake up to pee; again. As I am walking to the bathroom I realize I am freezing which quickly segues into the fact that I am no longer wearing a shirt. About this time I logically (imagine that) remember that I had gotten something on my shirt and had taken it off. Which leads me to think (while peeing) but I was sleeping how did I get my shirt dirty? As I walk back to bed I remember that a bird had pooped on my shirt; which took me back to the “what the hell I was sleeping” thought. Then I am like great you are a dumbass. So yes a bird pooped on my shirt in a dream which apparently leads to me waking up in the middle of the night and taking my shirt off so my bed doesn’t get dirty.

Last night in yet another dream I also apparently needed to attend a pre-natal appointment. I am guessing that Husband couldn’t come because Red was attending with me. So we are led into this very large examining room and I am told to get undressed. I nicely tell the assistant that this is just a check-up and I am not due for any kind of physical today. She says yes you are you have ____ (some test I cannot remember) and you will need to wear this gown. This scary large woman then comes in and starts pouring me a glass of this radioactive stuff that smells like bananas. Now let me tell you that I have had to drink similar stuff before for a CT scan and it-is-not-pretty. So they are both saying you need this test so just drink it. The little nurse says well it isn’t as bad as an amniocentesis and I am like what are you people talking about? I yell I am 25 years old and in good health I don’t need any of your crazy stupid tests and burst into tears. I quickly woke up and actually I think that is when I discovered I was no longer wearing my shirt. J