A good friend of mine who apparently reads my blog (very cool btw) has mentioned to me over the past few weeks that I have sorely neglected my readership. I think she may be the only one but nevertheless it is a bummer when my favorite blogs don’t write in forever; I mean they do know we need escape from work here and there right?
It was hard to write in my blog there for a while because Husband and I were trying to keep the fact that I got pregnant again right away under wraps. Surprisingly enough, we actually accomplished this. So yes I am pregnant again. I am 14 weeks tomorrow and I am feeling great- well emotionally; physically I feel like crap most of the time. Although the all day everyday nausea has seemingly wore off I am still ridiculously exhausted, my back almost always aches, I get terrible headaches almost daily, and apparently heartburn has taken up permanent residence in my body. I fear it has completed it’s take over and will now occupy my digestive tract for another 26 weeks. And of course that thought makes we want to cry and stop eating in general; which would make me very cranky and would have an obviously negative impact on Jelly Bean. So eat I do but nothing sounds good anymore because of the heartburn or the raging headache that makes my head spin.
But enough of the complaints because I am so freaking excited! I know how much of a blessing it is to be pregnant right now and for things to be going well. Jelly Bean appears to be healthy and right on track. This experience has been so different than the one before it. I could feel from 6 weeks that my body was different and that this time things would be different and the doctor confirmed this time was different. Although in the first few weeks every time I felt a twinge or had to pee I quickly made my way to the bathroom to check out the situation. That was when my heart would start pounding and sometimes my breath would catch. Was it just pee? The sigh of relief every time I got a pee only paper reading was exhausting. It was shortly after this time that I just sort of felt a peace about the situation. Although the thought of losing another baby made me feel like I was going to hyperventilate; I dealt with it.
The morning that I found out I was pregnant followed a very busy Thanksgiving weekend where we had done some traveling and I had drank some cocktails. This coupled with what happened in October had Husband reeling (not to mention it was his birthday and I took the test at 6:15 a.m.) and so he sort of freaked out so then I sort of freaked out and called my Mom bawling at 6:45 in the morning. She assured me that every thing was probably fine and that this baby needed a Mom who could handle the things life threw at her. Coming from my Mom this was like a WOW. My Mom knows a lot about being a Mom in the face of sometimes really crappy situations. Anyway she was excited and it spread to me.
Fast forward at my 6 week doctor appointment they did an U/S and we were able to see that the baby had in fact implanted into the uterine wall. At 9 weeks we were able to see some arm buds and the heartbeat beating on the screen. It is like this little blinking section of the color part of the baby. It was crazy. It happens so fast. I really wish they would let you sit in there for at least 5 minutes and just get to stare you know. Anyway at 12 weeks we heard the heartbeat and that was amazing. It wasn’t until we were walking out of the doctor’s office that I started to cry. It really is just an amazing, amazing thing. So now here I am almost 14 weeks and loving this situation. It is hard sometimes knowing that so much is still up in the air. My work situation is in limbo until we know what Husband will do. He recently completed his degree so if he stays with his current employer than I will be taking a short maternity leave and I will back to work full time; no clue as to what town Jelly bean will be in day care yet. If he changes then I may be able to take a longer maternity leave and come back part time. Only time will tell we just have to wait it out and see. But either way we are both thrilled and cannot wait!