Mommy Sucks at Christmas Parenting

I don’t know what it is about Christmas this year. I am certainly not in any kind of funk or anything but I am not feeling overwhelmed with the Christmas spirit. I have missed all of the work Christmas parties because they all seem to be on Friday’s and I don’t work on Friday’s. I did find some awesome gifts for people but even that didn’t get me all excited. Here I am 4 days from Christmas and the most I can muster is a cool I have the next 13 days off in a row smile. I don’t know if I am still getting used to this three 10 hour a day schedule at work or what.

Unfortunately, this has turned into me being a crappy holiday parent. C is about 2 ¼ years old and well it never occurred to me until a month or so ago that I needed to teach her what Christmas is; and that she was old enough to understand the concept. Another major parenting fail is that we haven’t had her going to Sunday School- that right there would have solved my problem. So when this finally occurred to me I went home that night and found all of her books about Christmas and we started reading them repeatedly. I really do want her to understand Christmas as the religious holiday before we move onto the secular parts of the season. So we have been reading a book about baby Jesus’ birth. She can now identify the most important of the people involved (Mary, Joseph, Jesus, etc) and she keeps dragging the birthday hats out of the decorations box in the office and asking for birthday cake so something tells me I’ve got her on the right track.

We finally put up the Christmas tree on Sunday night and it has pretty twinkling lights but no ornaments. However, C hasn’t even seen the lights because we haven’t turned them on for her. You see what I am saying? I am totally sucking at holiday season parenting right now. I did get her something cool for Christmas and I sure she will enjoy the day but I can’t help but feel that I failed her in some way. This is her first Christmas that she can sort of understand and Mom dropped the ball.

I think I need to go to Zoolights tonight, watch Elf tomorrow, do some major baking on Friday, and maybe, just maybe, I will be more prepared for Christmas come Sunday. I haven’t even watched my requisite Christmas movies whilst wrapping presents yet. Every year I watch Love, Actually and The Notebook- which is not a Christmas movie at all but I watch it now once a year. Last year the Husband and I watched Saving Private Ryan while wrapping presents and even that felt more like Christmas. Whatever is the matter with me?

Sometimes they can be so sweet

Our Daughter C loves M-n-M’s; and I mean LOVES them. One of the first things she usually says in the morning is, “Mmmmmmnemms in a cup pease?” Mind you she doesn’t get M-n-M’s each day and certainly not for breakfast but, I suppose, 2 year old’s keep the faith that someday you will say yes.

I am not sure when but many months ago whenever we would give her a treat we would put it in the smallest little Tupperware bowl that came with our current set. C, calls these "cups." My kitchen is arranged so that C has access to all my Tupperware and all non-glass mixing bowls. She often pulls them all out and stacks them while I am cooking dinner. When she asks for raisins, cheerios, and even M-n-M’s I tell her to go get her cup.

I say all of that so you can understand how heart stopping sweet and adorable this child can be. Last night the Husband and I are watching a few minutes of Jeopardy after we finished dinner. Jeopardy is a family favorite in our house. C loves the show and gets very excited when it comes on and has since she was an infant; but I’ll write about that another day. So we are sitting there watching the show and C goes running out of the living room with purpose. I didn’t see she what she was doing but I don’t follow her around 24/7; she is a pretty independent child. I hear her open the Tupperware cabinet and then shut the doors. Then the adorable slap slap slap of toddler feet comes bounding into the living room. I assumed she was getting a “cup” to make her M-n-M request.

She walks into the living room and hands her Dad a cup with a mint in it and then she walks over to me and hands me one with a mint in it. I guess she thought since we ate all our dinner that we needed a treat. It was such a sweet moment and I was fighting back tears. I told her “Thank you baby that was so nice.” She responded “Welcome Mommy,” and then took off like she didn’t feel the ground shift beneath her feet like I did. I was so tired from my 10 hour day and I have been under so much stress; and that moment made it all worth it.

And then I felt like a jerk

I can’t get my eyebrows waxed without thinking about my Grandma’s toes. You may be thinking what on earth do eyebrows have to do with toes? My answer to that would be well nothing to normal people; but I don’t really know any of those so I can’t go ask one. Here hold my hand; I’ll walk you into the depths of my crazy brain.

So if you don’t already know me I guess I should tell you that I am Portuguese. Although for being Portuguese I guess I am really not all that hairy of a person but hairy enough that I’ve got to get my eyebrows waxed at least once a month. I believe I wrote a previous post on this. Anywho, so one Sunday I went to get a pedicure from the small place around the corner from my house. Getting pedicures once on a month on lazy Sundays afternoons used to be consistent ritual of mine; you know before I had kids. So as I am getting my pedicure the young woman whose Husband ran the shop told me that I should let her wax my eyebrows because mine needed it. It was true but damn if that doesn’t sting a little.

So after my toenails dried I went to get the wax done. She brushed up the brow hairs and cut them down, which seriously always makes me really nervous, and then she applied the wax and did her thing. I didn’t really think much about it because she didn’t leave the wax on for an abnormal amount of time or anything like that. Small side note: that happened to me once and she pulled off like 3 layers of my skin and I had burn marks on my face for several days. I still won’t go back to that place. I have no idea why I didn’t just get out of the chair when I knew she was doing it wrong; but I really hate to be rude!

So I pay them for my services and I leave. I jump in the car and take a quick look at my eyebrows in the rearview mirror before driving away. What was staring back at me was scary. That woman had like completely waxed off almost my entire eyebrow on both sides. You could see bald spots in them and they were like gone; and I mean gone. I am sure that some people look good with minimal eyebrows but I am not one of them. I am meant to have some regular looking eyebrows here. So I quickly drive home to get a better look. Unfortunately, the view from my huge bathroom mirror didn’t make them look any better. I bet you are wondering what the hell does this have to do with her Grandma or her toes.

Well here you go I will tell you. Just as I start to tear up a little bit my Mom calls. I may have been 24 or 25 but you bet as soon as I heard my Mom’s voice I was actually crying.

“Moooom that stupid woman waxed off all of my eyebrows. I look ridiculous and now I have to go to Walmart looking like a chola to buy an eyebrow pencil.”

She pauses and responds with, “Umm I was just calling to tell you that one of Grandma’s toes is infected and well they are going to do surgery and cut it off this week.”

Aaannnd she is met with total silence. I believe my response was something like, “hold up what?”

Then my Mom starts laughing and says, “Bet that gave you a little perspective now didn’t it.”

So now here 4 or 5 years later I can’t help but think of my Grandma’s toes when I get a wax. My poor Grandma...at least my eyebrows grew back. She hides it well though I’ve never actually seen the space where the toe was.

It's a good thing my Mom love me

This is an actual copy of an email I sent my Mom this morning. I didn't realize until she sent it back with a reply that I totally sounded like I have ADD; but I promist I don't!

You need an IM account. Here are a small example of the little things I have wanted to tell you this morning that don't separately really call for an email but I'll forget if I have to wait...

- I had a pesto bagel this morning and it was really awesome. I am sure you would like it.
- I tentatively added Chicken Pot Pies to the book list
- It looks like Edwards might be sold out for Break Dawn midnight showing tickets and they have not yet been released yet to buy at Sierra Vista. If you have an "in" you may want to cash that chip.
- Are you guys coming for Survivor tonight?
- What happen' with tomorrow?
- I am full because our breakfast pot luck today was awesome.
- All of a sudden this week I am not pumping much milk and I find that annoying.
- Did you still want to take family pictures?
- Did you hear it is supposed to rain this weekend?
- Linky was super smiley this morning but C has a runny nose.
- My daughter was gruuuum-py last night.

Yep I am that cool.

Space (and shit)

Actual conversation between me and the Husband today:

Cj: Did you know Stairway to Heaven came out 40 years ago today?
Me: I saw that article.
Cj: Heard about the asteroid that will pass by the earth tonight closer than the moon?
Me: No. Do you want me to sleep tonight?
Cj: Oh I figured you had heard and just not said anything.
Me: No.
Cj: Uhh ok I am assuming you don’t want me to tell you about it.
Me: Nope.

This may seem like a totally innocent conversation people but it so totally isn’t!! I hate space (and shit) and I always have. My brain with its limited spatial skills can’t really grasp the concept of outer space. In fact, the thought of it scares the holy crapola out of me. He knows this so what does he do? He brings up asteroids coming close to the earth; and you know what? I don’t have the time to freak out about that tonight. Plus, I am pretty sure Ben Affleck is busywith his two daughters and pregnant wife and everything he can’t go take care of that crap. They might be able to get Bruce Willis, I mean I haven’t seen that guy do anything in a while, but he might be busy stalking Ashton Kutcher so he can pummel him for cheating on his ex-wife.

So thanks Husband for screwing with my head. You are forcing my hand to talk about periods or something just to screw with you. Hmm that doesn’t really freak him out though. Maybe I’ll start crying about wanting a new baby; that ought to scare the crap out of him.

I might need a jump

I was leaving work the other day and I saw some kids in the parking lot jumping a car. Presumably it was one of theirs or they are really crappy thieves. Anyway, the thought popped in my head that I should really learn how to use jumper cables just in case I ever need a jump (of the car variety). Then my mind went all 2011 and I was like well nah I have an app for that. I could always just use my “How to” app. Then I was like oh wait what if my phone isn’t charged then I’d be screwed and I just turned off my *Onstar. Then I saw the on campus farm market and started thinking about ice cream.

I really should learn how to use jumper cables. I will add that to the “Things I Should Probably Learn” list like: how to pick a lock, find out when the sun might burn out, and why did Steve Perry leave Journey.

Man it has been long time...

Isn’t it funny how insanely fast life can pass you by? The last time I blogged my daughter C was a mere 9 months old. Today….she’s 2 AND 2 ½ months old. She is always running and screaming since apparently little girls can’t seem to do one without the other simultaneously. She can also identify all of her ABC’s, count to 14, and sing Twinkle Twinkle in an understandable though not exactly correct rendition. She is the moon and the stars and keeps my heart a beatin’. She is also defiant, loud, and frequently causes me to take up residence at the end of my rope.

Then when C was a mere 12 months old Mommy got all confused and got pregnant with L. He was born on a cool Saturday in May and started shaking everything up. No one ever told me that going from 1 baby to 2 more than doubles the work. In many ways he is the exact opposite of C. He doesn’t sleep all that well whereas C slept like an angel from 8 weeks. He is a big time snuggler though and she never was. He adores watching C sing and play and I can’t wait to see them running around together.

Other than that life is good. We moved almost an hour closer to work early in 2011 and that has really given us our life back. We get to spend more time with the kids and less time sitting in the car. I spend most of time chasing kids, nursing, and being hooked up to a breast pump; I know super exciting right. I know that I am super blessed to be able to nurse for so long but Momma is ready for a break. I have been pregnant or nursing for 37 straight months….yep 37. I am so ready to have a cocktail without having to plan the crap out of it and go out of town with my Husband. All in good time I suppose. Maybe I will actually update something on here sometime soon. We’ll see!