Tuesday, November 15, 2011

And then I felt like a jerk

I can’t get my eyebrows waxed without thinking about my Grandma’s toes. You may be thinking what on earth do eyebrows have to do with toes? My answer to that would be well nothing to normal people; but I don’t really know any of those so I can’t go ask one. Here hold my hand; I’ll walk you into the depths of my crazy brain.

So if you don’t already know me I guess I should tell you that I am Portuguese. Although for being Portuguese I guess I am really not all that hairy of a person but hairy enough that I’ve got to get my eyebrows waxed at least once a month. I believe I wrote a previous post on this. Anywho, so one Sunday I went to get a pedicure from the small place around the corner from my house. Getting pedicures once on a month on lazy Sundays afternoons used to be consistent ritual of mine; you know before I had kids. So as I am getting my pedicure the young woman whose Husband ran the shop told me that I should let her wax my eyebrows because mine needed it. It was true but damn if that doesn’t sting a little.

So after my toenails dried I went to get the wax done. She brushed up the brow hairs and cut them down, which seriously always makes me really nervous, and then she applied the wax and did her thing. I didn’t really think much about it because she didn’t leave the wax on for an abnormal amount of time or anything like that. Small side note: that happened to me once and she pulled off like 3 layers of my skin and I had burn marks on my face for several days. I still won’t go back to that place. I have no idea why I didn’t just get out of the chair when I knew she was doing it wrong; but I really hate to be rude!

So I pay them for my services and I leave. I jump in the car and take a quick look at my eyebrows in the rearview mirror before driving away. What was staring back at me was scary. That woman had like completely waxed off almost my entire eyebrow on both sides. You could see bald spots in them and they were like gone; and I mean gone. I am sure that some people look good with minimal eyebrows but I am not one of them. I am meant to have some regular looking eyebrows here. So I quickly drive home to get a better look. Unfortunately, the view from my huge bathroom mirror didn’t make them look any better. I bet you are wondering what the hell does this have to do with her Grandma or her toes.

Well here you go I will tell you. Just as I start to tear up a little bit my Mom calls. I may have been 24 or 25 but you bet as soon as I heard my Mom’s voice I was actually crying.

“Moooom that stupid woman waxed off all of my eyebrows. I look ridiculous and now I have to go to Walmart looking like a chola to buy an eyebrow pencil.”

She pauses and responds with, “Umm I was just calling to tell you that one of Grandma’s toes is infected and well they are going to do surgery and cut it off this week.”

Aaannnd she is met with total silence. I believe my response was something like, “hold up what?”

Then my Mom starts laughing and says, “Bet that gave you a little perspective now didn’t it.”

So now here 4 or 5 years later I can’t help but think of my Grandma’s toes when I get a wax. My poor Grandma...at least my eyebrows grew back. She hides it well though I’ve never actually seen the space where the toe was.

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